"My client decided... to try to rearrange my face"

Welcome another blogging p.d., with a rare distinction:

Actually, I have to admit, I’m rather on inactive status right now. About four months ago, I joined a VERY elite company among the ranks of the profession... The company I speak of has few members, and those there not by skill or hard work, but by sheer mischance... We are those who have taken one for the team, demonstrated our dedication, earned the equivalent of the Purple Heart for our ranks. We are the few, the proud, the defenders who have literally taken a hit from our client in open court. To be specific, in the middle of picking a jury for a Home Invasion trial, my client decided it would be a great strategic move to try to rearrange my face, right there in from of judge, jurors, court guards, prosecutors and bailiff. He gained himself a mistrial and a new charge of Aggravated Battery for his efforts. I got a bloody nose, a concussion, two somewhat blackened eyes, and a set of broken glasses for mine. Three of four weeks later, the post-traumatic stress symptoms started setting in and, and as a result, I got transferred to non-trial duty...