October 08, 2007

Pay for your Martindale-Hubbell® rating or we'll shoot this dog

I got an urgent (unsolicited) letter today, urging me not to miss the boat on a major legal concern's new business model™ - yesterday's price = free; today's price = $50.00:

Martindale-Hubbell® Peer Review Ratings™ - 2nd Notice

We recently notified you of an annual $50 administration fee associated with the maintenance and upkeep of your Martindale-Hubbell® Peer Review Ratings listing displayed throughout the Martindale-Hubbell® Legal Network.

While we assume this nominal fee remains unpaid through an oversight, you should know that if it not paid by 11/01/07, your rating will no longer be displayed in our online and print resources. This would not eliminate your coveted rating; however it would exclude your rating from being seen by over 1 million that reference Martindale-Hubbell® when evaluating and selecting a legal resource...


Let this sad post stand like Ozymandias' statute to show the world that I once attained a coveted BV(T)® rating, and that for a few shining years my glory was known to every and all. Now that most coveted distinction, for which I labored and lobbied so hard, will flit through cyberspace unseen and alone. I weep. Lord knows what a blow it will be to all the teenagers in my county who seek public defender services by first turning to Martindale-Hubbell®.

I'm so grateful I'm not alone.

Update: one reason why Martindale-Hubbell® needs my $50.00: to pay for flying the Martindale Hubbell-Lexis Nexis Legal Advisory Board to Madrid and treating them like royalty.

3 Comments:

Anonymous said...

Thank you for having such a superb sense of the absurd! I guess my AV rating will languish in the file cabinet along with the unpaid Martindale-Hubbell invoice, law office opening announcements, and holiday cards from years past. Such is the transience of life.

Anonymous said...

I plan to send Mr. Walsh (president and CEO of Lexis-Nexis) an "invoice" as well. I have found that due to the administrative resources required to process inane, unsolicited invoices, we must also charge a "nominal" fee to cover our costs and system investments.

Tanks4ntn said...

Another lawyer commented "unfuckingbelievable." I could not have been more eloquent. I told everyone on my website www.pennlawyer.com to avoid the M-H system and posted the threat I received that my tribute to the emperor had not be received.

"Kiss my shiny metal butt."

-Bender (Courtesy of Futurama)