"This 'jail calendar sucks' wherever it is"

From Public Pretender, a place we've all been one time or another, at two minutes per client:

"Today will not be the day to fight your case. Today is the day I am going to try to get you out of jail. What I ask you is what I have to know in order to make the best possible argument to get you out of jail."

I wish there was a better way to do it too.