"I know you are but what am I?"

Back-and-forth if-you-didn't-laugh-you'd-cry attorney-client dialogue from Musings and Rants; why don't our clients take our advice, anyway?

Client: They can't take my case to the grand jury. It's against my constitutional rights!
Me: Actually, they can. And it doesn't violate your rights.
Client: Yes it does.
Me: No. It doesn't.
Client: It does! I got people in Chicago that looked it up.
Me: Are the people lawyers?
Client: No. But they say that it's against my constitutional rights.

Lather. Rinse. Repeat.